March 07, 2009

Ringling-a-Ding Bros. Sisters.

House guests.
I don't know what your experience with them has been, but I tend to liken them to a nice sunny day: sometimes they warm up the room just by being around and sometimes things turn cheery and bright when they leave. There is a third type of guest that turns day into night and makes everything a circus and that, my lovely readers, is exactly the type of creature who has been staying with me.

Pictured above is my wife's cat. I say my "my wife's" because the feline is retarded and I want nothing to do with her. Kinda like a sugar cookie: sweet, but without any nutritional value.

And here she is again only this time she is posing with her partner in crime sitting pompously in the background. From this particular photograph you might just be saying to yourself: "Well, they don't look so bad." You might even go so far as to think : "To tell the truth, these two kitties look quite harmless and very adorable."

That's exactly what cats want you to think. Look closely at the picture. Study the subtle expressions on their faces and the glint of mischievous evil in their eyes. It's there if you really look!

What the picture doesn't show you is the sound of eight, go ahead-count 'em, eight thundering paws as they leap and dash and crash along wooden flooring and furniture overturning food and water bowls as they 'rassle and frolic. No the photograph does not express the heart wrenching-wake you up at five-inthegodforsakingmorning-thirty feeling!

I have labeled the beasts SK I & SK II. That stands for: Stupid Kitteh 1 (the wife's) and 2 (our friend's). Today, if God happens to look down from his station and decides to grace me with some semblance of peace, SK II will return home. All I can say is that I better get a really nice souvenir for my troubles.

I know that SK I will miss the furry friend and I am pretty sure that the wife will too. Thankfully there is ice cream in the freezer to salve her sadness and some catnip in the cupboard for the idiot.

Me? Well, I just can't wait till our friends go on vacation again.


lime said...

hahahaha, we are on a similar wavelength. i have a sign in my kitchen which reads, "everyone brings happiness to this place, some when they enter, others when they leave." and kittehs is ebil. i knows it.

so glad you liked the trippy socks. hope they fit somehow!

The Grunt said...

What a good looking couple of trouble makers ya got there.

Grant said...

How far did you have to fling SKII before he stopped returning?

Beth said...

Be wary – having enjoyed the company of SKII, SKI may pine for yet another partner in crime and let you know it! Do your best to withstand such feline pressure.

(Houseguests – be they animal or human – can be extremely trying...)

whimsical brainpan said...

Cats are almost always up to something.

May SK2 depart your residence soon.

Megan said...

I see the mischievous evil, yes I do.

Carla said...

Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is beautiful at 5:30 in the morning. Hope you find peace soon.

NYD said...

Lime~ I will be using your gift as my 'house socks' just as soon as I clean up the floor.

Grunt~ Thanks, Grunt. If ya want I'll sell you the pair. Half Price!

Grant~ Fling a kitty? Would I do that???

Beth~ I hear ya. The Missus now wants a dog to keep the cat company. Go figure.

Whim~ You must know cats! I am always nerous when I leave for work 'cuz I don't know what destruction I will find upon my return.

Megan~ I knew you woud see it. Thanks for the validation.

Carla~ Well maybe a sunrise but other than that the only way I like something at 5:30 is if I am coming home to it.

Anonymous said...

Clearly they have devilment in mind. That's what I like about cats.

Serena said...

Aw, what a cutie! I love houseguests. In fact, I have one coming this weekend. Two-legged, though I do have an affinity for retarded little 4-legged guests.:)

NYD said...

Citizen~ Funny, that's what I say about women.

SJ~ Hope the guest is house broken.

Anonymous said...

I can see exactly what you've been saying in those eyes. In fact I have one here with me as well. She is evil and evil shows it's true face. Never doubt the thoughts of a cat, they will never include loving anyone else but themselves, that is until it's time to get fed....

Love the pics, can't wait to see more


The Java Junkie said...

I too have a jellicle cat. You have my sympathy.

Ming the Merciless said...

Blah! I hate cats! I prefer dogs but I hate hair on my clothes, bed, sofa, etc. So no animals allowed in my apartment unless it walks on two hind legs.