Booze, Butts, Sex., Sweat -N -Hemoglobin.

There's a whole lot of thoughts that go through my head and never make it to the page in front of you. First of all this is not a confessional, not that I'd know what one was, but I realize that I can't be completely honest about everything that goes on in my life. I would love to, but this isn't an anonymous blog. The peeps who read this know me, even if they don't leave comments or shouts, as I call them.

I'm tryin to clean myself up, I'm not certain why, but I'm doing it. That is bound to make the people close to me somewhat stressed out. Really stressed out because I have lived with most of my addictions since the age of thirteen. I sometimes wonder if I'm doing the correct thing. I could be making a mistake, trying to change this far along the line.

Changes often make me upset. I don't like to swish things around unless they aren' t working properly. Not smoking or drinking or indulging it the things that have so far made life bearable has been an act of supreme patience that still has a lot of quirks in it. Crispy, my wife, is smoking a cigarette at the moment and it's making me nuts!

Why, all of a sudden am I doing all this crazy stuff? I would like to be a healthier person, being and looking healthy is sexy. I have two major goals that I really want to achieve. First is longevity; I want to live forever. No joke! The second is a lot tougher; I really want to be a GOOD person. Again, no joke! I realize that I am not and haven't been a fine example of a human being. I just feel the need to be able to look in the mirror and feel supremely happy about what I see there.

That is the neck! I'm conflicted in so many areas of my life that I find it a problem of gargantuan proportions to achieve the balance that I'm looking for.
Someone, anyone! Quick! Give me a blade so that I might cut the Gordian knot that blocks my path. There is a certain satisfaction from indulging in the things that make you feel good. Smoking, although physically un-healthy, is spiritually up-lifting I can say the same for whiskey as long as I imbibe moderately. Sex is the best thing around and I wonder if there is such a thing as too much???

Hmmmm. Well, I've set myself on a path. Now it's just a matter of time before I find out if it's the right one or not.

Detox reoprt- Cold turkey

I had a horrible weekend. smoking, drinking, and tons of sweets. Sounds like fun, but it threw all my efforts of the past week into the garbage.
Well, to err is human and when I'm free and clear of tobacco all the craziness will have been worth it.
BTW, I heard that the price of cigarettes is going up again, so that's one more reason to quit.

Detox report-2

I'm grumpy and feel like kicking my cat every time she meows at me.
My weight has dropped about 2kg since I started this, but my stress levels are on the rise causing me to curse more than I usually do when driving to work each day. I've also noticed that when I'm typing and I make a mistake, which is fairly often, I tend to correct the problem with cruel strikes to the keyboard and the occasional slam of the mouse.
I really have to get back to the Dojo and find a healthy way to alleviate the pressure.
A lot of people are giving me all kinds of tips and tons of support (thx Sallie!) but no matter what advice they offer I realize that I'm walking this road on my own.

Detox report- 1

Here is an update on my fight to get "clean & sober".
I'm feeling kinda yucky and twitchy, but m'lady tells me that I'll have to feel worse before I feel better. That doesn't make much sense to me. I thought I was doing this to improve my life.
There's been no problem with cutting out the booze but the cigarettes are kicking my ass!
I can't seem to get over the mental block of life without nicotine. I've snuck a few here and there and I'm certain that I'll be able to cut them out completely once I start riding my bike in the mornings.
I guess I'll have to write a new script for my auto-hypnosis sessions and include some anti-smoking instructions.
I've been getting my daily dose of yoga by observing my wife while I write my posts. Whew, just watching her makes my muscles ache.
Getting off the junk food is a lot easier than it sounds. In fact, since I really enjoy cooking, this gives me the opportunity to create some tasty meals for the both of us and use the leftovers for lunch.

Where's the beef?

Two years. I'm not kidding. Two years without inexpensive steaks, Yoshinoya (a beef &rice bowl fast food chain) or reasonably priced Korean BBQ. OK I'm exaggerating just a bit. There is plenty of Australian beef around, but without the American competition all you can get is really crappy cuts of meat that don't even spark the interest of the carnivorous feline who resides with me. Japan finally gives the American beef producers a break and finally allows imports and somewhere along the line somebody screws up and now I'm still waiting for a juicy slab of Kansas city corn fed beef.
Now maybe I should go native and get my protein from sushi or other delectable from the sea, but deep down in my heart it's steak that I crave. I don't eat carbs or at least not many.　You see, I'm a die hard Atkins man who has rescinded potatoes, bread, rice, and pasta for the sake of my waistline. Living in Japan causes a multitude of strange reactions to this kind of diet and being of Sicilian descent makes giving up my linguine kinda tough.
I actually have lost more than 40 lbs using his diet plan, but I don't intend on posting any before/after pics here. My wife keeps 'em stored in her camera and shows them to her girlfriends when they are drinking, says it's good for a laugh when conversation starts to get dull. Hey, I don't mind Just as long as I can get my hand on a steak that won't cost me ￥2000 or more. You know if I don't eat any meat for a year I might be able to save enough money to buy a plane ticket home and grab a burger at Jackson Hole the best damn shop for hamburgers in New York. Or I can Just grab the bull by the horns and get my own prime beef....the hard way

http://wmp.mainichi-msn.co.jp/MSN/2006/01/31/bullfight.wmv