I'm tryin to clean myself up, I'm not certain why, but I'm doing it. That is bound to make the people close to me somewhat stressed out. Really stressed out because I have lived with most of my addictions since the age of thirteen. I sometimes wonder if I'm doing the correct thing. I could be making a mistake, trying to change this far along the line.
Changes often make me upset. I don't like to swish things around unless they aren' t working properly. Not smoking or drinking or indulging it the things that have so far made life bearable has been an act of supreme patience that still has a lot of quirks in it. Crispy, my wife, is smoking a cigarette at the moment and it's making me nuts!
Why, all of a sudden am I doing all this crazy stuff? I would like to be a healthier person, being and looking healthy is sexy. I have two major goals that I really want to achieve. First is longevity; I want to live forever. No joke! The second is a lot tougher; I really want to be a GOOD person. Again, no joke! I realize that I am not and haven't been a fine example of a human being. I just feel the need to be able to look in the mirror and feel supremely happy about what I see there.
That is the neck! I'm conflicted in so many areas of my life that I find it a problem of gargantuan proportions to achieve the balance that I'm looking for.
Someone, anyone! Quick! Give me a blade so that I might cut the Gordian knot that blocks my path. There is a certain satisfaction from indulging in the things that make you feel good. Smoking, although physically un-healthy, is spiritually up-lifting I can say the same for whiskey as long as I imbibe moderately. Sex is the best thing around and I wonder if there is such a thing as too much???
Someone, anyone! Quick! Give me a blade so that I might cut the Gordian knot that blocks my path. There is a certain satisfaction from indulging in the things that make you feel good. Smoking, although physically un-healthy, is spiritually up-lifting I can say the same for whiskey as long as I imbibe moderately. Sex is the best thing around and I wonder if there is such a thing as too much???
Hmmmm. Well, I've set myself on a path. Now it's just a matter of time before I find out if it's the right one or not.
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