July 03, 2006

Live to ride

~See previous post before reading~

My mom took off on us while I was still a youngin, leavin' pa to raise me up on his lonesome. Now and again I do try to remember what she looks like, but I kin hardly recall her face or the sound of her voice. I know that she has blonde hair 'cause mines is the same and Pa says Ilook like her.
Ya know grwin up without a mom wern't so bad. Pa and I usually had a good time together. I mean we din't do the same things as other people did; picnics, trips to the zoo, family shopping at the mall, UGH! Pa and I always hated that stuff.
Living in an upscale, consevative, stuffed shirt neighborhood felt kinda strange and I was never sure how we could afford to live there 'cause Pa never did have a job. I do remember him sayin' somethin 'bout being the black sheep of some money grubbing, self-rightous, antebellum bastid whaterver that ment.
Way back when I was just a kid a single man raisin a girl weren't something you saw everyday, but we din't worry none 'bout what other people thought.
Things between Pa and I changed when I was fourteen. I remember the day like it was only yesterday. It was a Sunday in July, the goddamndest, hottest summer in memory. Ev'ryone had been actin' crazy from the heatand Pa was havin a passal o' trouble with me. I was changin, and fast. I tweren't no little girl no more and eventhough I wasn't a full grown lady yet, you couldn't tell me different. Lookin back I could see I was a real pain in the ass. What with my hormones goin' haywire an Pa tryin his best to splain it all to me. Me. I was actin like I knew it all, but the truth is dat I had about as much brains as a bag of rocks. Didn't know nuthin about bein a woman. Well, like I said, it were hot! The kinda hot that reaches into the shade and melts the ice in your lemonade. The kinda hot that drives everyone to the lakeshore and their summer homes, which is just were all the kids went, leaving the neighborhood quiet, too quiet. In fact it was downright spooky. I felt like Pa and I were the only people left in the world. Wer was settin in the living room and I had ants in my pants 'cause of the heat. I wanted to go swimmin with the other kids. I remember complaining to Pa that everyone else had air conditioners while we hadda block o' ice in front of a fan. Bitchin' bout how the water was always splillin over when I changed the pans.
Well after awhile of listening me complain bout this n that and the two of us just sweatin like pigs 'cause that damn ice didn't work nohow. All of a sudden Pa got a strange look in his eye and a mischievious shit eating grin on his face. It spread out like a cheshire cat and shone like a cresent moon in the night time sky. I member the what he said to me just then, after all these years the words still echo in my memories "I know just the thing that'll take yer mind offa the heat, little girl". It twerent the so muuch what he said, but more like the way he said it, so direct and knowin, like he'd been thinking 'bout what he were gonna do for a long time. He got off the sofa and took my hand and led me out of the living room. After he got ready, we was just standing there when he showed it to me. I werent so surprised. After all I'd seen it befrore, you know, when whe was washing it down and stuff. But now it seemed different. Up close it was bigger, a whole lot bigger, more sinister and bright red. It just seemed to glow in that dark, musty room.
Pa could see that I was a little bit scared, this being my first time and all.
He jus tol me not to worry and that evr'ythin'll be alright. Pa sat down first and looked at me. He asked "You do trust me, don't you?" "Don't you wanna try this?" I just nodded my head and slowly and timidly walked up to him. I remember climbing up swinging my leg over and as I setteled down I thought it would have been stiffer than it was, actually it was nice and cushiony.
Pa told me to hold on to him tightly and not let go, no matter what. Right then all my senses were on fire. I could smell the mixture of tobacco and cheap aftershave on him. My skin felt tingly and I got goose pimples. And the roar in my ears was so deafening that I could hardly hear the things he was saying to me. It sounded like mumbling and I thought I heard him say, "It's OK darlin', everythings gonna be alright, your Papa loves you and won't let nothing bad happen to you". Then he started and I grabbed him too tightly digging my nails into his shoulders. Gently, he moved my tiny hands and showed me how he wanted me to hold him. He said he'd go slow at first until I got used to it, but it didn't seem slow to me, in fact I thought that if he went any faster I was gonna die! Like I was ridin' a rocket. I mean, my stomach was quiverin' and I was biting my lip and I had my eyes shut tight 'cus I was afraid to look.
I was really scared , but like he said it did get easier. As I started to relax I began to enjoy it. We picked up speed as he started driving me faster and faster. I realized that I had to move with him, not just hang on and bounce. After that things got more fun. Every now-n-then pa would let out a scream cause he was enjoying himself so much. And each time he yelled out I would join him and squeal with delight to let him know that I was havin a good time too. Pa was right! This did take my my offa the heat. There was one itsy bitsy little problem though. I knew that iffen the neighbors found out about what Pa and I were doin, there'd be all kinds of talk. I'm sue that the kids at scool would treat me differently too! Look at me like I was a freak or somethin'. "Good girls" didn't do these things. I din't care, I love my Pa and anything he did was alright with me. Besides, I was enjoying it! I'd never had so much fun in all my life, so what's wrong with that. I don't really understand why grown-up make such a big deal over it. After it was all over and I got off, my legs felt like rubber. I was all wobbly and a little bit sore. Standing up took sme effort. I lloked down and noticed some blood. Pa saw it too. He told me not to worry about it 'cause it sometimes happens, but only once so I wouldn't have to worry about it no more.
After I took ashower and got all cleaned up I went into the living room. Pa was sittin there listening to some music and smokin one of his smelly cigarettes. He patted the spot next to him on the sofa and waved me over. He asked if I had a good time. I said "You bet!", and asked him if we could do it again. Pa just smiled and tol' me that once was enough for now and that he was a little tired. I figured as much, after all he did all the work and I was just along for the ride.
Since that first time we started doing it every sunday and sometimes after he'd get home from work, but only if my homework was done. It was a treat and I had to earn it.
Of course the neighbors eventually found out what we was doin, 'cause we never did try all that hard to hide it. Pa said it weren't nuthin to be ashamed of and none of their business anyways.
Word got around and folks did talk, but hell, we weren't hurtin no one, so we didn't pay them no mind. We was jus havin a little fun.
All this happened quite a few years ago and since then I've been with lots of other guys, but I'll tell ya Pa is still the best! These days I only get to see him once or twice a yearand we still go at it, but now I take the lead. Pa says that I'm too aggressive and that I should slow down and take it easy on an 'old man'. I know he can take it. Pa's numero uno and if it wern't for him maybe my life wouldn't have turned out the way it did. People think I'm crazy, raisin' hell, and havin' fun with my friends. But I'm responsible. I use protection and I'm carefull every time, just like Pa learned me. One thing is foe certain, I'll never forget that first time with my Pa.

Riding behind him on that 'ol Harley Hog./

2 comments:

anon said...

You're a sick ifantile fuck! LOL

NYD said...

You do mean "infantile", right