To calm myself I take the stairs instead of the elevator. Forcing the excitement of the future down to tolerable levels. I tell myself that I must not let my feelings grow too strong, you know what happens then, don’t you.
At the bottom and the top of each flight of stairs I pull myself together and steady the pounding of my heart. I have been waiting for this and now it’s happening. Happening for real just as I have imagined it all those nights while reading your words of desire and passion.
I see myself walking towards the room. The soft carpeting muffles the sound of my footsteps and the only thing I can hear is the murmur that come from the other rooms the muffled sound of footsteps and blood racing through my ears.
Room 420. I knock softly on the door, but it sounds like thunder. All my senses are alive and tingling. As the door begins to open I notice that the room is dimly lit. There is a soft sensual aroma that tickles my nose and troubles my brain.
As I enter the place and my eyes become accustomed to the dimness of the light I begin to notice the care that has been taken to prepare for my arrival.
A table, set beautifully with delicacies. A shimmering wine bucket with not one, but two bottles of sumptuous libation waiting to be opened and tasted, savored delicately.
Slowly, ever so slowly the music that has been there all along, yet unnoticed by me seeps into my heart and forces me to finally look at you with my full attention. You have been even more meticulous with yourself than you have with the room.
Your hair, clothing, make up and perfume all put together in a special way that suggests casualness, but in fact you were very careful to only make it seem this way.
I can see that you have done this for me as well as yourself. I wonder if you heart is racing as fast as mine; and as I grasp you hand there is a bolt of electricity that runs through me. I can see that you feel it too for your eyes grow wide and you start to lose your balance.
Gracefully and quickly I catch you up in my arms and wait for your senses to return. Then as the music and candlelight conduct us I begin the dance.
Pressing you close to my chest so you can feel the heat of my body. Your senses come alive and you can sense so many things.
What is going on in your head? You feel the emotions building inside you, growing, becoming more intense and alive with each passing moment. This time, our time, is not part of anything else in the world. We have escaped into a new reality where we can do as we please and feel exactly the way you want to feel.
The wine is taking the desired effect and the music beckons our feelings to the surface. The tiniest of kisses during our dance is enough to turn the sparks nestling inside you into a flame.
You are feeling the heat and passion grow and you can feel that it is happening to me as well. We hide the true thoughts behind our eyes, but we cannot, do not, want to let go of each other.
This dance of ours seems to go on forever as if time were suspended and we were left alone. You allow all of your feelings to pour out of your heart while I hold you and there are several sharp explosions that wrack you body and make it impossible for you to stand any longer. Your knees are weakened by the rush of feelings and your legs feel as if they were going to collapse.
I bring you to the bed and lay you down among the downy pillows and silky soft sheets. I continue to hold you and you come to realize that this is the feeling you have been looking for.
At every moment of your life this is the one feeling that had escaped you.
You desire nothing more than to be swallowed up by these emotions. to be allowed to feel as powerfully and deeply as you know you can. You start to understand just how much passion you have inside you and you question as to why you haven’t felt this before.
With so many good and happy things in my life, why hasn’t the fire of passion burned as brightly and powerfully as it is burning now.
I want this! I need this. I cannot live without these feelings. I will be an empty shell without the source of these emotions.
All these thoughts race through you mind in an instant, and you know you are lost. Your heart has finally won the battle and you give into all the fine and gentle passions. Just as you are feeling so full and happy and contentment is running up and down your spine and tickling you in every part of your being.
I stand and look at the door. for a moment there is the briefest moment of panic. a fear that is voiceless but still palpable. In a single moment you are afraid that the one and only thing that can provide you with the feelings you long for will walk out never to be felt again.
It can happen, losing something so precious and knowing it will never be there again. You must not allow that to happen. You realize that you will do anything. Let anything be done to you so long as the feelings never disappear.
You offer up all that you have to save the single source of precious beauty your soul has ever experienced. You reach out. Reach out and hold it close so it may never escape from your grasp….
Do not allow the love light to fade away and leave you in darkness and cold
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