September 05, 2008

Friday's Folly

I think that enough stupid things happen to me over the period of a week that I can make a regular post about them. Why not! Everyone else has a day they devote to some such thing or another.
I intend to share the insipid and vacuous events of my life and of course my biting sarcastic response to them.

To be honest, I have it pretty good. You might say that I am, although not as prodigious, much akin to Gulliver when he lived among the Lilliputians. This is what Gulliver did yesterday...

I awoke at 4:00 in the morning, got on my bike and rode downtown for an absurdly early, morning assignment.


This is my bag and helmet . They are waiting with me to meet the client. In fact they have been waiting in this hotel hallway for 30 minutes. I don't worry cuz' I'm on the clock.

It was dark when I got to the ninth floor, but the sun has risen and provided me with a view of the river from a window at the end of the hallway.

I return to the vigil outside clients room and squat on my helmet. It is not very comfortable. I guess you could figure that out from the expression on my face.


Lots of time goes by. I have met the people who hired me for the day. I don't have picture for I was bowing and exchanging business cards and "Nice to meet you" greetings.
we have arrived at the secret location. A forest on the edge of a grazing pasture about 47 minutes outside the city. It is a lonely place.


I was goofing off in the woods looking at the trees and the bugs and the feeders and of course trying to spot the psilocybin that ought to have sprouted after yesterday's rainfall.


"Mr. NYD, wherrrre aaare you? There is work to be done!"
I rushed off to where the action is.


Let me introduce the characters of yesterday's fun. The guy holding the camera is a photographer. I am at a photo/ video shoot. Do I begin to sense a ripple of envy? No? Really?



I am the translator of the moment. The linguistic conduit between these professionals and...


This Model.
(Grant, I know she isn't Asian, but eat yer heart out anyway.)


This is a camera man. He Took footage of the model with his video camera.

Here is the model trying to relax while posing against the tree. They were looking for an image of repose amongst nature. I believe that they got what they wanted.

The hair and make up lady was very busy. I wasn't- that's why I have so many pictures.

This is the director of the video. He was very determined to create something truly important. Something that would lend his name to immortality.
He is also a very nice fellow who asked me to translate such phrases as "I want you to feel the loveliness of the forest inside you" and "Imagine a butterfly passing you as you traipse along the path." I did my job with an earnest and serious expression on my face. I think the model believed me.

A parasol just happens to be required equipment for a foray into the wild. I wish I owned a pith helmet or a Darth Vader mask.


Checking the take. "Hmmm, do you think she feels the presence of birds? Did we get enough leaves in the shot?" (This was said, but maybe not at the exact time I took this snapshot.)


A new location. The camerman is busy. This is the most important scene of the commercial.


The crew gathers around.


Even make up and wardrobe are nervous and fluttering like butterflies around the model.


This tree, which really is quite beautiful and quite famous, is our model's goal. She has been wandering through the woods, talking to birds, glancing at butterflies and snorting the pollen off of flowers just to be able to encounter this magnificent example of deciduous flora.

I wonder if you can guess what this photo shoot was for. There are absolutely no clues so it will be a total fluke if you guess correctly.


Have a great weekend.

I am going to sleep til' Monday!

27 comments:

Grant said...

I found the hair and makeup women more attractive than the model. Mail them to me and I'll send you some American foods you're probably missing. How about a nice Italian meats sub from Baldino's in exchange?

lime said...

just tell me it isn't for some feminine hygeine product and i am ok. and i dunno why but the phrase "snorting pollen off flowers" is going to be with me all day.

puerileuwaite said...

The last time it was arranged for me to meet at a hotel, and then head to the woods, they tried to bump me off instead of making me a "made" Pug.

Japan must be refreshing in that way.

Carla said...

Sniffing pollen, I could guess anti-histamines, but somehow I don't think so.

Beth said...

I'm thinking "snorting the pollen" is some hidden clue - but I still can't come up with anything.
But your "vacuous life" and "biting sarcasm" make a great combination!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I'm too brain dead to guess. But I think you lead a great life. Any job openings in Japan for a gypsy like me?

Enemy of the Republic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grunt said...

Toilet paper.

The girl is mighty fine.

What kind of bike do you have?

NYD said...

Grant~ nThat wouldn't be a fair trade. There's more meat on a hero.

Lime ~ No it was not a commercial for Yoni Yum Yum. Snorting pollen seems to be the phrase of the day.

Pug~ If I walk into a room here and there are plastic sheets on the floor , I'm definitely gona be thinking kinky not hinky.

Yeah kinda refreshing that way.

Carla~ No pharmaceuticals, sweetie.
We were all natural!

Beth~ Funny how the truth makes for indelible imagery.

NME~ There are plenty of jobs here, but Japan would probably strangle the free thinking juices that flow from your soul. Rest assured, with a new President sitting in the oval office, Aamerica will start looking better again.

Grunt~ Close.iIn a basic material kind of way.

The product is made mostly from wood.

I ride a Yamaha Lanza DT-250. It's the last two stroke bike the company produced. I raced on her for a couple years but now, with slicks intsead of knobbies, she stays on the road.

NYD said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. She's a whole heckuva lot sexier than the model.

Mona said...

Misplaced! True to your name, what the heck were YOU doing among that crowd? You are truly not one of em!

Hey! did your mother drink a concoction of Neem leaves & bitter gourd while she was carrying you?

Just saying...

That Helmet sure does hurt you know where! It is so much evident from the bulging eyes!

That Model is selling something? I doubt!

It couldn't be more than a herbal shampoo or a talcum powder...

Megan said...

I'm trying to use the "tree as goal" to help me guess, but my mind is a complete and utter blank. (What else is new?)

Looks like a fun day at work though. Did they let you look through the camera lens?

NYD said...

Mona~ Odd, it is, that you should say that for while living in New York There was a time that I was a cameraman for a cable tv show.

This time though I was a translator.

Megan~ I was so nosey that they probably considered firing me! Inot only looked through the camera, I talked to the engineers about the computer playback editor and bugged the still photographer about his equipment too. I think I chatted with just about everyone on the set. Talk about shmoozing, whew!

Ming the Merciless said...

Sounds like a shampoo commercial. It's obviously not for a clothing line, I can tell that. :-)

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Let's see- hot chick, outside, headed for a tree...
Got to be a beer/liquor commercial! lol :) kidding!

For some reason, every single time I watch "Cash Cab"- I think of you.
Must be the driver ;)

Rest well until Monday~

Mona said...

O yea, ( slaps the forehead)!! I forgot that he walks on the tobacco road too!

ThursdayNext said...

In typical female fashion I am more focused on the cute sweater the model is wearing and wondering where I can get one. ;)

Serena Joy said...

I have the blues and those people look all happy-happy, so tell me, what kind of pollen are they sniffing?:-)

Corn Dog said...

Loved your photos! What an exciting day too. I've never been on a shoot. I was envious. I must have seen that beautiful tree in other pictures. It looked so familiar to me. I didn't know directors actually said things like that to actors/actresses. I thought that was made up. I did laugh a bit at that part. I have no idea what the commercial was for? A new drug? Shampoo? Am I close?

Aunty Belle said...

heh...ya' have it so rough, puddin', I'se really feelin' fer ya!

Pretty out in the country round theah!

citizen of the world said...

Beer?

Kurt said...

Hmm - basic materials. How about snack foods?

K9 said...

nice work and apparently you can get it! um, is the product plywood? grrrherhahaha. interesting day with you - loved it!

VE said...

Funny...I preferred the shot of just the tree at the end...

NYD said...

Ming~ I congratulate you on your sartorial awareness.

Mrs.C~ I checked out Cash Cab and although I don't believe I look anything like the host I can see why you do. Thanks for the compliment. He is one funny guy.

Mona~ I walk in my sleep too.

Thursdaynext~ If you wore that cardigan you would not only know more about Jane Eyre than most people, you would look like her too.

SJ~ Why so down, honey? I must come over to your place to find out.

People in snapshots always look happy because someone is taking their picture. At other times they are just as miserable as the rest of the world.

CornDog~ Good to hear from ya!
The folks who deal in creative images and sounds can say the most ridiculous things and be perfectly serious about it. Just watch the academy awards. Oh, polititions do it too.

Aunty~ You don't know the half of it. I had to sit on the ground, eat with my hands and drink tea straight from the bottle! Barbaric!!

The country side where I live is stunning- I will have to search my files and put up a post of the nicer pics that I have.

Citizen~ Yes, thank you. And do you have any Pepperidge Farm cheddar cheese flavoured Goldfish as well?

Kurt~ See previous comment and reply...

K9~ I get the work cuz few around here can speak the lingo.
Plywood is the closest guess yet!

VE~ Me too! But I had to include the other people or the tree would not make any sense.




Now to satify the curiosity the quench the fires of the desperate urge to know what these people were devoting an entire week of their time for..

Houses. Yes, houses. This will be a tv commercial for a new residential area in a large city south of where I live.
To get the feeling of spaciousness and wide open pastures and clean living; they had to travel a couple of hundred kilometers.

Mona said...

Houses?

What a stupid advertisement!

Misplaced, how could you be a part of that!

maybe you were sleepwalking...The glazed eyes in the helmet stool photo suggests it too...

Allan said...

I was gonna guess it was an ad for a medicine that treats some new and man-made ailment, such as anxiety caused by overcrowding and ballooning mortgages.