May 28, 2006

Swimming towards shore

I spend an awful amount of time reading books and in contemplation of the ideas they extol. I only wish that the brain I inherited from my parents, which was perfectly fine at birth, but has been abused and damaged in the years since, was a better tool than the one I am presently using then I could possibly do a better job explaining my thoughts.
The whole damn world is insane and on the brink of self destruction. I am not the first person to think this nor write it down for people to read. If one stops and quietly observes the events and actions in the space and of the people around them it will be easy to understand that we are all lost in a dark and stormy ocean of madness. Riding the waves of euphoria at one moment only to be overcome by despair at the next.The constant search for happiness and love keeps us struggling against the often overwhelming tide of nonsense and lunacy that threaten to pull us down.
There are quite a few strong swimmers out there who will be able to reach the island in the middle of the vast and undulating waters and some of them are even able to show us how to reach the shore, but of course you can only get there on your own. I think about the others lost along with me. Shipmates and victims of the collision that sent us tumbling and sprawling into the bubbling brine.
The waters are crowded so you can, at times, find another who can pull you along while you rest. Eventually you find that no other person can swim at the exactly the same pace as you and you are compelled to either wait for them, be left behind or go at it on your own. No matter what course of action you choose, you must realize that if you do reach the coastline than you will have to pull yourself ashore on you own.
I have met people traversing the waters in lifeboats, thinking that as a group consolidated and supportive, they have special access to the port of happiness not realizing that they too must at some point leave the boat and ascend the ladder individually.Along the way I have noticed empty life jackets and I ponder upon the reasons one might have for abandoning the struggle.What will I find when I get to solid land? Is that the final destination or is it the way station before another journey.
It just might be that we will find ourselves beside Sisyphus; straining and pushing the boulder up the hill.

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