Bad Habits.

It's the "little" things we do that upset others.
Major infractions are forgivable and sometimes even understandable, but it's the small stuff that passes under our social radar and goes straight into the subconcious and perturb us in exact proportion as good things which set us off and make us like people and feel friendly to them.
My problem(or at least one of them) is determining which of my actions disturb those around me. When I say actions I'm including manner of speech, vocal nuances, and gestures.
Most of the time I find it fairly easy to direct the thoughts and feelings of the people I associate with. They trust me and realize that I'm going to do my best for them. My family members, on the other hand are a completely different story. I can't seem to remove the years of conditioning that living together produces.
It's a common situation. For instance, One day I pass by a shop and I see something that my wife would like. I buy it and later that day give it to her. She Immediately thinks that something is amiss and starts the interrogation. If I happen to do more than my usual share of housework or if I compliment her on something she gets suspicious and wants to know if I have an ulterior motive for these actions.
I am perplexed, flummoxed!
How can I be so good at something outside my home and be such a failure at the same thing whilst indoors.
Puzzle me this.