Patty Du' Jour

I recently recieved an email from a good friend. A real buddy. A guy who knows what to send me at just the moment when I'm thinking the exact same thoughts - he just knows how to say it better than I do.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let himkeep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get abad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to arestaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music anddancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and thesecond one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget itonce...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day hereceived a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy "You're lucky,mine's still alive."

Here's one of my own preferred quotes.

Marriage is the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

Ambrose Bierce