January 17, 2007

Marlboro Man

I thought I had a choice as to whether I could give up smoking or liquor, but it there is no way to give up one without the other. I have been struggling to kick the habit and let me tell you the monkey feels like fucking King Kong on my back.
I went out with a bunch of friends a couple of days ago to celebrate the new year with a bit of drinking and good conversation. There is nothing more tortuous than sitting around with a bunch of people whilst drinking beer and trying not to smoke. Well I succumbed to temptation and vowed to keep up the fight the next day.
A few days later I had to spend the day teaching a very large group of children in a special program hosted by my school. That also did me in. After 7 continuous hours of yelling screaming fun and games and cleaning up and making sure all the children had a blast I was exhausted. And in another moment of weakness a cigarette found it's way to my lips.
I'm starting to rationalize my weakness. If Prometheus sacrificed so much to steal fire from the gods, who am I to refuse it?
I know this is stupid, but if you've never quit smoking or have never been a smoker to begin with, you cannot imagine the insanity of withdrawal. I'll try to keep the stories of my agony to a minimum as I continue my efforts to conquer and kill this audacious beast.


S* said...

Hang in there. And think about your poor lungs. Just saw the Bodies exhibit last week and they had smoker's lungs. Nasty nasty nasty!

The Grunt said...

In the words of Rob Schneider's character from "The Waterboy": You can do it, NYD!

Interesting thing about cigarettes magically finding their way into your mouth, NYD. The same thing happens to me with trucker pop.