March 23, 2008

This was a good day

I have been thinking that if you feel the world pulling at you from all directions, the best place you can be is right in the center of things, so that at least the pressures are equal instead of tossing you to one side.
I spent the day developing an advanced case of lethargy and although I cannot approach the level of lassitude that my wife has accomplished, I believe that I earned a respectful bronze medal. The cats get the gold. A human cannot hope to surpass a feline when it comes to sloth and inactivity.

All this leisure time and a seriously strong pot of coffee gave me the chance to spend the morning and most of the day in a state of contemplation.
Letting my mind meander through random memories and along dusty neural pathways was both refreshing and alarming.
The mental randori that ensued during the day encompassed quite a few subjects and even more absurd recollections of my past. Instead of feeling foolish I discovered that the embarrassing experiences were the ones I remembered most clearly; along with the ones of distress and hardship.
Why was it that I could not easily recall the highlights and pinnacles of my life with the same ease?
I'm figuring that it's all in the struggle. It's easier to remember the details of crappy times better because you've overcome them and when you look on the rocky path you've left behind you'll see that it really wasn't all that big a deal.
I have got to learn to slow down.
Chew my food and really taste it be for rushing off to my next meeting, next class, next lecture. Time there is a plenty, but only for those who know how to use it wisely.

Another thought that crossed my mind is that I happen to find myself on the far side of the generation gap. I don't know exactly when this happened but it sure is an eye opener. I look into the mirror and wonder what the hell is my dad doing there.
One of the toughest aspects of getting on in years for me is the ability to let young folks do things their way. There is an irrisistable urge to tell them what to do to avoid the same pitfalls that you tripped over. This, among other things, is what widens the gap.

I have been warned many times by people who are very close to me and know me well that hubris and intolerance for stupidity make up a large part of my personality. I just wish, and have for a very long time, that my intellect could keep pace with my passions. I always think of really cool shit to say to people and fabulous comebacks well after the conversation is over. My wife is able to talk to people in the immediate time frame. The things that she says to people that piss her off or the times that we argue and she turns my words upon me to lash me into an incredulous state of spluttering and gasping allways leve me both frustrated and thoroughly impressed.
My brain just doesn't work as fast as I would like it to.

Does yours?


Mayden' s Voyage said...

"on the far side of the generation gap...wanting to tell young people what to do."

The folly of wisdom, my friend, is wanting to share it with those who need it most, but don't want it. I hope, if you ever have an irrisistable urge to tell me what to do- you will.
Not that much separates us as far as years go, the miles are greater.

Glad you had a great day :)

NYD said...

Hello Cora! I am so glad to see you here. I understand just how busy things must be for you these days.
Hang in there girl and Keep on Blogging.

The Grunt said...

I think the bad things are easier to remember because you are a sick bastard and like to torture yourself. Well, I figure that's why I do it at least.

Pain and suffering reflected on usually means you've got through it. I figure that its a good thing so long as you don't wallow in those thoughts and let it get you down. Sometimes it takes someone to let you know when you are doing that to yourself. Ta mate.

Mona said...

Happy Easter Misplaced Man...

LOl@ 'seriously strong coffee'. It reminds me of my own 'occasional tea' :D

Yea, the best place would be to be at the center, so that the harm is least if you collapse like that cart being drawn by four horses latched to it in all four direction...

Yep, it is the most embarrassing experiences that would come first since its the job of the Memory to allow us to learn from them without having to repeat them.

To remember all would be too much for a mind, a big burden; so it goes on throwing all memory into the basement of consciousness. Later the basement has to be searched, aka your experience here, because only through that searching will you become aware of your foolishness that you might have been repeating continuously. You can go beyond it only when you have understood it.

And a basement understood becomes the passage for a higher story of your being...

NYD said...

Grunt~ Glad to see we have similar views on this subject

Mona~ For someone on vacation you sure do a lot of blogging. {chuckles}
You also read deeper into any post than most people. I nbelieve we retain the memory of everything our senses percive from the moment we are brought into this world. It is recalling it and making sense of it that presentsw a problem. The analogy I prefer is an attick rather than a basement. Probably because Jerry Garcia put it there.

Pink said...

Some days I feel my brain BARELY works.

I can never come up with the comeback - well - actually thats not so true. The older I get, the more often I just say something smart assed in response to something insulting. I guess its because I care less and less about pleasing other people.

At the same time, there is a parallel but opposite thing happening. With people I do care about, I am becoming more and more of a silent observer and letting people reveal themselves.

Maybe the combination speaks of a cynical old person. Whatever it says, its what it says about me.


Corn Dog said...

In a long term relationship, a woman can out argue a man because we know your every nuance, your every argument, and which way you will turn in a pinch. We can set a verbal trap and watch you fall in it. It is perhaps the only time I am manipulative. Later the man will come back to spar again, but it will be the second round and we will already know what he is going to say because he has said it before. We will know sometimes what he is going to say by merely pursing his lips or looking at the dog. We are the Jane Goodall's of husbands. We know what you are thinking sometimes before you do. We know what you are thinking sometimes before we know what we are thinking.

Kurt said...

These young people these days and their refusal to pronounce the letter t!

I usually do not have a snappy comeback, but I have had my moments.

NYD said...

Pink~ From what I have read and seen you are far from cynical. I can also be sarcastic when responding to rudness- I just want to be able to say the kind of things that makes the whole room go Whhhoooo Hoooooaaaaaa.

Corn dog I agree with you 1,000,000%, but What I really need is for her to tell me how she does it!!

OPE~ I'm just waitin for the chance to say, "Hey, bud. Take it where you shake it, OK"

lime said...

i think i like your spin on why we may tend to recall the tough times better. i know too many people who recall them out of a sense of bitterness but recalling them to savor the survival and triumph over them is so much more positive.

as for the speed of my mind and all depends on the hour of the day and my personal fatigue level. ;)

puerileuwaite said...

Pug Zen moment: "The center of the dartboard quite often gets the most attention".